Share the sorrow of my budget and supply constraints.
Name : John Mustafah Doe - al-Qaeda Senior Purchasing Officer
What are you dealing with right now? : I am soaked in despair.
My story: I lament the plight of Izhmash, the AK-47 manufacturer.
Pour it all out. Everything. You may even feel better for it...
Firstly, I would like to thank you for the opportunity to present my sad story to your beloved readers, may they be praised in heaven forever. I usually do videos for YouTube, so forgive me if my spelling is not as precise as it should be.
The despair I want to talk about is the terrible weight that is upon my shoulders, as I do my best each day to find and pay for the tools my organisation needs to do its daily work. You would not believe the obstacles I have to overcome, nor would you understand the suffering I endure because of the hurtful articles that are published about my benevolent organisation. They are nasty and brutish and unfair. All I am trying to do is to find a few hundred thousand rifles, and yet I am painted as some kind of bad guy by the imperialist Western press - and I only give a capital "W" to western so that you understand I am more educated than most decadent infidels realise.
Secondly, I would like to express my dissatisfaction with the actions of the American devil - Obama. He has scared the United States gun fanatics so much about changes to gun laws that they have been buying up guns and ammunition in huge quantities. Don't think that I am not familiar with Economics 101 and its intricacies. If too many infidels demand AK-47's then the supply available for our glorious cause is cut to pieces, and those guns remaining are as expensive as 72 virgins.
Thank you for listening to my holy trevails, and may your life shine under the light of a merciful heaven forever.
How often are you gripped by angst, despair or most horribly, both? Once per month - during our corporate donations versus armaments budget sessions.
What are you dealing with right now? : I am soaked in despair.
My story: I lament the plight of Izhmash, the AK-47 manufacturer.
Pour it all out. Everything. You may even feel better for it...
Firstly, I would like to thank you for the opportunity to present my sad story to your beloved readers, may they be praised in heaven forever. I usually do videos for YouTube, so forgive me if my spelling is not as precise as it should be.
The despair I want to talk about is the terrible weight that is upon my shoulders, as I do my best each day to find and pay for the tools my organisation needs to do its daily work. You would not believe the obstacles I have to overcome, nor would you understand the suffering I endure because of the hurtful articles that are published about my benevolent organisation. They are nasty and brutish and unfair. All I am trying to do is to find a few hundred thousand rifles, and yet I am painted as some kind of bad guy by the imperialist Western press - and I only give a capital "W" to western so that you understand I am more educated than most decadent infidels realise.
Secondly, I would like to express my dissatisfaction with the actions of the American devil - Obama. He has scared the United States gun fanatics so much about changes to gun laws that they have been buying up guns and ammunition in huge quantities. Don't think that I am not familiar with Economics 101 and its intricacies. If too many infidels demand AK-47's then the supply available for our glorious cause is cut to pieces, and those guns remaining are as expensive as 72 virgins.
Thank you for listening to my holy trevails, and may your life shine under the light of a merciful heaven forever.
How often are you gripped by angst, despair or most horribly, both? Once per month - during our corporate donations versus armaments budget sessions.
Devil Americans increasing my monthly purchase invoice costs by soaking up the supply of AK-47's.
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